Spanking: Necessary Correction or Child Abuse?

This is why I always recommend

Creative, swift and terrible action

So that children

Take their parents seriously

And learn "the lesson" permanently.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger

Can't help wondering... what you're wondering about?



If this little one suddenly pulls away and runs off in this dangerous location, should he spank her, hit her in such a "swift and terrible" way that she takes him seriously, and never forgets?

Or maybe he should catch her, take her some place private and spank her one or two times when he is calm and collected?

Or perhaps spanking isn't an answer at all?

Yesterday 84% of listeners that called in on WJAC TV's poll said they approve of spanking children. Spanking was not defined. Not the procedure, timing or purpose.

Well, I don't approve of spanking or any other form of Corporal Punishment at any time for any reason. I no longer believe in deliberately inflicting pain on those who can't fight back or do anything to protect themselves. Cowards, bullies, torturers and sadists do that. Ignorant, undereducated, untrained people do that to little children, even infants, in the name of discipline because they don't know any better, because they haven't learned any better, because they lack alternatives.

I believe there are more humane, effective and practical ways to teach, train and discipline a child. I believe those who take care of children have an obligation to learn how. Civilized adults don't hit other adults. Why should so many believe they should hit little children?

The idea that only some 16% disapprove of spanking sent me searching for whether the divide is actually so lopsided. Unfortunately, it is. One study finds that 94% of U.S. parents spank their kids by the time the youngsters are 4 years old. As I always do, I researched all sides of the issue from parenting, legal, religious, medical, physiological, psychological, scientific, philosophical and so forth. I read both sides in comments on blogs, forums, and in response to newspaper articles. I remain consciously biased in favor of no corporal punishment.

I accept that if you believe otherwise then it makes sense to you that big people hitting little people teaches them something constructive, and does no harm. Among other things you also believe that a distinction can " be made between abusive hitting and nonabusive spanking." And you further believe that spanking is a " planned action, not a reaction," that it is a "deliberate procedure," a "forewarned consequence for designated problem behaviors," is "administered in private to avoid public humiliation or embarassment," consists of only "one or two spanks administered to the buttocks," and "should leave only transient redness of the skin" and "never cause a physical injury." You further believe the spanking should be "followed by embracing the child and calmly reviewing the offense and the desired behavior in an effort to reestablish a warm relationship."

I believe you believe these or similar reasons for your stance on spanking. What I don't believe is that you believe you or those you know apply "spanking" in this calm, methodical, premeditated manner. I question the redness and the amount of pain inflicted to cause it...how hard must you hit on bare skin by your bare hand? How much harder must you hit through clothing?

Are you spanking with objects? 25% admit to using an object when disciplining children. Do you wait until you are calm, then pick up your object of choice and cold-bloodedly hit a defenseless child? Some times advice is given to make the child bring the object to you to increase the effectiveness. Do you use a hair brush? A belt? A spoon? A Switch?

Or do you buy one of the products recommended and sold for the purpose? Carefully sized and sold for "spanking" infants, toddlers, older children. I wonder if they come with satisfaction guaranteed?

For other information: (Warning: Searching "spanking" may bring unanticipated results.)

Spare the Rod?
Spare the Rod? New Research Challenges Spanking Critics (pro spanking)
Spare the Rod
Spare the Rod and Spoil the Child Explained
Snopes: Comments on Spare the Rod
Answers: Punishment

Spanking Can Bring Problems Later

Wikipedia: Spanking

Smacking? Right or Wrong (children answers pro and con)

Children's Views

Listen Up! Children Talk: About Smacking

Spanking (Pro-spanking)

State by State Spanking Laws

A Child is Waiting,
Take care...be aware,
Nancy Lee

So just what is child discipline? What is abuse?

State Court to Decide on Legal Limits of Spanking:

Where punishment drifts into abuse is the issue

in the case of a father who hit his son 36 times.

Can't help wondering...what you're wondering about as Minnesota court stuggles to decide if hitting your son 36 times is abuse, and Massachusets goes to war over proposed new legislation that will make them the first state in the Union to totally outlaw corporal punishment for children? The battle may have begun in Massachusets but has now spread around the country. I suspect that before long it will reach global proportions. Even though many enlightened countries have actually already outlawed it, people continue to debate the issue. Since the best debates are usually based on at least a few facts and some knowledge, here is an example of both, from American Humane:



Child Discipline

What is discipline?
As part of their natural development, children sometimes challenge or test parental and adult expectations and authority. Sometimes, children simply choose to misbehave in order to gain something (e.g., attention, an object, power, peer approval). This is a significant part of the growth process of children, yet it should not be without consequence. Discipline is how children learn right from wrong, acceptable from unacceptable.

Parental or adult discipline of children should be designed to help children engage better with others and to modify or control their behavior. Providing appropriate discipline to children is one of the most essential responsibilities of a parent. And providing consistent and positive discipline helps children grow into responsible adults.

According to the Committee for Children (2004), the purpose of discipline is “to encourage moral, physical, and intellectual development and a sense of responsibility in children. Ultimately, older children will do the right thing, not because they fear external reprisal, but because they have internalized a standard initially presented by parents and other caretakers. In learning to rely on their own resources rather than their parents, children gain self-confidence and a positive self-image.”

What about the use of physical discipline?American Humane, as a policy, opposes the use of physical discipline on children at home, in the community, or in school. In two national surveys, Murray A. Straus, co-director of the Family Research Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire, found that 90% of parents of three- and four-year-olds had struck their children and that 22% of parents of children under one year of age had also hit their children. The second study in 1997 found that 44% of mothers reported spanking their children during the previous week, and reported spanking their children approximately twice a week (Straus, Sugarman, & Giles-Sims, 1997).

How does physical discipline affect children?
Children in the 1997 study whose parents used corporal punishment to reduce anti-social behavior actually experienced the opposite from their children in the long run – an increased probability of aggression and other antisocial behavior. Disciplining children by spanking does not facilitate learning. Instead, it may halt the unwanted behavior only while the child is in the adult’s presence, or it may scare a child into submission. While it may teach a child what not to do, it fails to teach a child what is expected of him or her and what is an alternate behavior.
Additionally, physical discipline is most often used when the parent is frustrated or without other resource. Spanking in these circumstances may lead to an unintentional injury or more serious abuse. The following illustrate more of what physical discipline does:

• Increases anxiety and fear
• Hinders the development of empathy and compassion for others
• Makes children angry in response
• Heightens aggression toward others
• Decreases compliance and increases resistance
• Harms relationship with parent or caregiver
• Potentially causes unintended and severe physical injury
• Decreases self-esteem
• Increases the probability for an array of undesirable social and psychological behaviors
• Teaches that violence is an acceptable way to handle conflict.

How can I discipline positively?
American Humane encourages parents and other caregivers to use techniques that constitute a positive and appropriate discipline of children, such as:

• Discipline with love
• Listen and communicate
• Focus on the behavior, not the child
• Respond immediately
• Relate the discipline to the offending behavior in duration and severity
• Be realistic
• Remain calm
• Be fair
• Do not harm or injure
• Set boundaries
• Make it a learning opportunity
• Be consistent
• Be creative

© 2004. This American Humane Fact Sheet may be reproduced and distributed with appropriate citation given to American Humane.

A Child is Waiting,
Take care...be aware,
Nancy Lee

Religion and Spanking

The philosophy that supports punishment

asserts that

compliance with the law for the law's own sake

("blind obedience") is a virtue.

Spanking is the chief example of punishment.

It is the height of external control.

Gregory K. Popcak

Can't help wondering about spare the rod, spoil the child. Many people who spank like to use it as some kind of proof that they are doing right by their children...whether or not they are the least bit religious. Today I found some interesting insights on religion and corporal punishment from other religions' perspectives.

If you are interested you might want to read: Ten Reasons I Can't Spank: A Catholic Counselor's Critical Examinationof Corporal Punishment by: Gregory K. Popcak, MSW, LCSW ,or A letter from a Christian Mom.

Other Religion and Discipline Information is also available from The Center for Effective Discipline:

• Christian
• Buddhist
• Jewish
• Bahai
• Hinduism
• United Methodist Church's Resolutions Against Corporal Punishment of Children
• A community health bulletin for Muslim parents (UK)

Take Care...be aware,

Nancy Lee

Spanking: Facts and Fiction

If we are ever to turn toward a kindlier society

and a safer world,

a revulsion against the physical punishment of children

would be a good place to start.

Dr. Benjamin Spock

Can't help wondering...what you're wondering about when it comes to spanking? Yesterday I found a site where many regular people discuss spanking , pros and cons, from personal views. My guess is we won't ever stop spanking until we understand more about why some people spank. Why some stop. Why some never have and never will. Sites like this one give insights never reached through formal research.

According to The Center for Effective Discipline :

In 2005, there were l49,319 confirmed cases of physical abuse of children,
almost all of them beginning as "discipline". Child abuse prevention experts
estimate that actual cases of physical abuse may be 20-50 times higher than
confirmed reports. See a state-by-state chart of physical abuse numbers for more information.

Here is another discussion on punishment methods for children.

Take care...be aware,
Nancy Lee