Peace on Earth, but 'til then...

God rest you, merry Innocents,
While innocence endures.
A sweeter Christmas than we to ours
May you bequeath to yours.
Ogden Nash
A Carol for Children

Can't help wondering...
what you're wondering about this Christmas morning?

Here there are no gifts beneath a tree. No presents yet to find. There is no music in the air, no ringing of church bells nearby, not even a ringing of the phone to break the silence of this day. There will be no knocks upon my door. No friends or family come to say, Merry Christmas! their voices filled with tidings of good cheer. Yet I am blessed to have this day of peace, the only gift I ever asked for as a child, and ever more throughout the years, is finally mine. I wish it were mine to give to millions who still wish it so each year.

Last night and today there will be no drunken brawls, no children smashed against the walls, no animals kicked out the door, no fussing, no cussing, no mussing, no tears, no screams, no black and blue bruises. My arm won't be twisted behind my back, my face will not sting from an unexpected slap. My throat will not choke back the fears or blank eyes hide the torments within. No escape. Words echo from the past, It's a holiday, dear. You need to stay here with your family, and you better behave, you hear?

They're gone now, most are dead. Alone at home now, in my Christmas solitude I breathe free, know I'm safe, dare to remember other years, when it was not always so. I have only one wish now. If it could be mine to give, millions more would be like me this morning. Alone on Christmas, if being otherwise means fear and pain and loneliness so deep it can only be relieved while alone. Or with friends and family, if being together means Peace and a Merry Christmas for all.

Of course I'm wondering as always this morning about the children. Some children had trouble sleeping last night, awake with excitement waiting for Santa to come, wondering how many gifts they would find waiting in the morning. Other wee ones had trouble sleeping, awake with anxiety wondering if they had been good enough for Santa to come, or if it would be like last year, with no visit, not even so much as a lump of coal to say at least they were worth a visit, it not any gifts. Millions of others had trouble sleeping, awake with anxiety wondering when, or even if, raging, high or drunken parents would come home.

For one reason or another, most children and parents are tired and stressed on Christmas Day. Hidden disappointments, some big, others small, seem to abound for all on this holiday. There's been too little or too much of everything, and the day holds more and less before it's over. Add a few tired friends and parents also struggling under the weight of their own Christmases past and you have the makings of another unforgettable Christmas. All children deserve better. All people deserve better. We all deserve Peace on Earth, but 'til then...

A Child is Waiting,
Take care...be aware,
Nancy Lee

Why don't we say NO! to child abuse?

They take a paper and they read the headlines

So they've heard of unemployment

And they've heard of breadlines

And they philanthropically cure them all

By getting up a costume charity ball.

Ogden Nash

Can't help wondering...

if you ever wonder,

as I do,

if it will really has to take

12o years to end child abuse?


Even when a county reports a 500% increase in child abuse and neglect, budget demands may still call for cuts in funding child welfare programs. Why don't they say NO!?




Or perhaps, given the thousands of years of known child abuse,
and the low number of people saying NO!
to child abuse throughout that same time,
a plan to actually end child abuse
in three generations
might be more than we dare even hope for?

And the 40 million children suffering from child abuse now?

What's being done for them? Charity Balls and Golf Tournaments in the Cayman Islands?

Over 50% of American's admit to
witnessing child abuse but do nothing.

Why don't they say NO!?

Because, they say:
Not their business (67%).
Not sure how to respond (50%).
Don't want to have others think they're
overreacting (23%).
Concern about personal safety (19%).
Maybe the actions might be justified (17%).

Seems like all those reasons say more about the witnesses concern for themselves than any concern for the children being abused.
Why don't they say NO!?

And the parents who committ the abuse...those who are the overwhelming majority of all child abusers? The 37 percent of American parents who insult or swear at their children? The 50 percent who neglect their child’s emotional needs, the majority nearly daily? The 6 percent who hit, or try to their children with a hand or anything handy? The 1 percent who kick, bite or punch their children? The 4-5 every day who kill the children they caretake? Why don't they say NO!?

Doctors contribute to child abuse by not reporting obvious cases. They ignore evidence of neglect. They contribute to increased risk of superbugs by failing to say no when asked to prescribe unnecessary antibiotics.

Why don't they say NO!?

Teachers contribute to child abuse by failures to report and by abusing children, themselves.

Why don't they say NO!?

Some Child Welfare workers are advised to not cooperate in ways that might save some children from child abuse, because it's inconvenient...ineffective... response is insufficient...not cost effective and so forth, to deal with other agencies.

Why don't they say NO!?


Many child welfare agencies refuse to even explore alternative assessments of at risk families. They say yes to the opinions of those who claim "non-adversarial, nonthreatening" ways now available won't work.

Why don't they say NO!?

Other child welfare workers act as though removing children from dangerous homes is in the best interests of the child. They accept without questioning the belief that the child will be safer, healthier, happier, and "grow up more successfully" than if kept in the home.

Why don't they say NO!?

Those are only some of the designated mandated reporters...those who supposedly don't have a choice about reporting child abuse...those whom the law says must report...so why don't they report?

Why don't they say NO!?

And what about tougher laws? Why do so many say no to that, but not to child abuse?

Why don't they say NO!?

And courts so under trained about child development, child psychology, and overburdened by impossible workloads they can't make the best decisions? Why don't they say NO!?

National media report high profile cases of child abuse, but not others and seem to follow a policy to avoid coverage of federal government's role in the prevention of child abuse?

Why don't they say NO!?

Kids don't vote, so children's issues don't have much importance with politicians choices for attention, so the emphasis is on everything except children's needs.

Why don't they say NO!?

No to child abuse. No to child neglect. No to all forms of child maltreatment. No to easy-off for convicted child neglecters, convicted child abusers, convicted child killers. No to lax standards about reporting. No to any exceptions for mandated reporting. No to laws left to languish in committees. No to re-electing politicians who do nothing for children. No to politicians who do anything to add to the harm of children. No to corporations who knowingly market dangerous products for children. No to corporations who knowingly market dangerous products to children. No to agencies who won't even consider alternative methods for dealing with child abuse reports. No to underfunding of programs working with at-risk parents known to reduce child abuse and its aftereffects to society and save $4 for every $1 invested. No to reduced funding of effective pre-schools when that's known to reduce child abuse, increase school success and reduce crime. No to doctors who prescribe unnessessary antibiotics to children thereby leading to the development of super-bugs, like MRSA, that now kill those children.

See how easy? All we have to do to stop child abuse is just say NO!? Believe that? Right. Well then why don't we?

My guess is too many of us simply can't seem to say no to anything...including child abuse when we see it. I wonder if that's related to the fact that so many of us were abused as children and now lack the spirit or the will to stand up for anything, or anyone, no matter how important, or how much we want to?

It could become law today that everyone must report child abuse or face the consequences, but I wonder if there would be any reduction in the 40 million cases of child abuse? Sadly, I think not, as long as half of us can witness child abuse and do nothing.


A Child is Waiting,
Take care...be aware,
Nancy Lee