Thursday, August 20, 2009

Intercourse at 8 and 9...not mine! you say. Really?

Those people who say that

kids don't have sex at that young of age

should think again.

Can't help wondering...

what you're wondering about when you think of children 8 and 9 years old having intercourse?

Today Science Daily reports, “Low-income Kids Report First Sexual Intercourse At 12 Years Of Age In New National Study.” The co-author of the study, Brenda Lohman, admits to being shocked and says, "Definitely the age is the most shocking thing about this study."

Reminds me of the childhood ditty- “First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby…..”? Makes me wonder if maybe the modern version goes…. “First comes sex, then comes baby with a baby carriage, then along comes another to the unmarried mother… “ Forget those old fashioned values like love and marriage. They got thrown out along with the baby’s bath water.

Unlike Lohman, I’m not shocked over much these days when it comes to children and the lives they live. But for me there is another shocking aspect of kiddie sex, besides the very young ages of the children in this study, that is not addressed in this article. Call it something like changing parental attitudes...or let's call it like it is...another form of child abuse and neglect.

Once upon a time, and even more so today, some parents gave their children access to alcohol at home because, they said, “Kids are going to drink somewhere anyway, and we’d rather it be in our home where we can know they are safe.” Today some parents espouse the same reason for providing their young children with contraceptive measures and privacy to have their sexual experiences at home.” Hello?!

Will someone please tell these parents that “Safe Sex” does not mean putting the girl on the pill, and encouraging their youthful liaisons at home instead of in some mall bathroom. One 14 year old girl’s great-grandmother recently called me in a panic because the family had decided to put the child on the pill so that she would not get pregnant as her 16 year old cousin recently did. The great-grandmother was amazingly calm about the possibility the girl might be having sex, but near hysteria because no one would listen to her concerns about the risk of STD’s. She wanted me to talk to the girl...a young friend of mine for nearly five years now. I did.

The girl already has an active sex life- has already had pregnancy false alarms. Her family- mother, father, aunts, uncles and grandparents decided because she was so generally immature that she might forget to take the pill the mother should ask the doctor to give her “the shot.” The doctor said no, too young, and prescribed the pill. Then the parents decided the next best thing to do to protect their child would be to allow sleep-overs so they would know where she is and with whom she is doing what. Alcohol included? Other drugs? Who knows. One is tempted to ask... so who cares?

Unusual family? No. A situation common only among the lower socio-economic levels? No. A growing epidemic among the young struggling with youthful hormones, early sexualization, easy access to every kind of sexualized entertainment and social media, and an all too obvious breakdown of family morals, values and basic concerns for the health and welfare of the young? My guess is yes.

Let’s get real. Let’s stop kidding ourselves. Let’s face what is before it isn’t only 20-30% of children under 16 having intercourse…and making babies…and spreading STD’s…and looking to us, the society that ignored them, to provide for them all… for happily ever after.

A Child is Waiting,
Take aware,
Nancy Lee

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