Saturday, April 4, 2009

I Call That Love...or is it Child Abuse?


Can't help wondering...what you're wondering about?

During this month of Child Abuse Prevention Awareness I wonder even more than usual about child abuse.

Today, I'm wondering about Love and Child Abuse...

They call it love… and they mean it.

They call it love when the child is sick and they take him to the emergency room, and then go with him to Wal-Mart to shop while the prescription is being filled.

They call it love when the medication sits untaken because the child doesn’t like to take medicine and they don’t want to make him take it.

They call it love when they add sugar to the baby food to make it taste better.

They call it love when they let the child stay up at night until she wants to go to bed or falls asleep in front of the TV.

They call it love when they wash the child’s mouth with soap for having a trash mouth, using words the child learned from them and their friends.

They call it love when they slap a child in the face for saying no, no matter what the circumstances…because a child needs to learn to respect his parents.

They call it love when they spank a toddler to teach her to not touch hot things…sharp things…dangerous things…for her own good.

They call it love when they use a belt on a child to teach him not to lie to them because lying is bad ….and heaven help the child who says, well how come it’s not bad when you lie. Then they call it love when they knock the child to the ground to teach her not to use a fresh mouth with them.

They call it love when they burn a child with a lit cigarette or match to teach him not to touch hot things.

They call it love when they bite a child to teach her that it is wrong to bite. They call it love when they punish a child by sending him to bed without supper…. for begging for food from the neighbors and embarrassing them.

They call it love when they teach her no manners because it is such a drag to keep nagging and who cares anyway because nobody likes anyone who goes around putting on airs.

They call it love when they let children spend days and nights in the same clothes… because they are favorites.

They call it love when the child eats nothing but chicken nuggets for months because that is what he likes.

They call it love when they don’t make a child do homework because they hated school, too.

They call it love when they blame the teacher for not teaching, the neighbor for not understanding, the relative for just being jealous of their kids special qualities and making a fuss about little things…cause kids will be kids, boys will be boys…

They call it love when there are no rules, no expectations, nor requirements….because they hated it when adults were always bossing them around when they were kids so they sure as hell aren’t going to do it to their kids.

They call it love when they don’t make a kid brush his teeth because he doesn’t want to, don’t take him to a dentist because he doesn’t want to go, and they call it interference when a school nurse reports that the child has a mouth full of abscessed teeth.But they call it love when they go to have the 11 teeth surgically removed even though it's silly to have baby teeth removed.

They call it love when they take the children to the bars while they drink because only bad parents leave their children home alone while they go out drinking… or they call it love when they leave the children home alone while they go drinking because bars are no place for children to be.

And so forth and so on… and always they call it love.

I call it child abuse.

But I believe them when they call it love because those are the only things they’ve ever known.

And so I do all that I can to raise awareness in the hopes that one day one of them will say OMG what am I doing and how can I make a change…so that their children’s lives can end up being a little better…so that their grandchildren can have some greater chance of knowing that love can be something more than what they knew and called love because they never knew any better.
I call that love.

A Child is Waiting,
Take care...be aware,
Nancy Lee

3 comments:

Marj aka Thriver said...

Wow, I can remember so many of these things from my childhood. Thanks for writing for Child Abuse Prevention Month.

I'm really triggered with Easter this year. So, I'm distracting myself with activism and raising awareness and linking to others who are doing so. I'm going to link to this post.

Child Person said...

And so.. I just finished a statement to the judge that hopefully will help take the children from their home to a place of safety for a while... my neice and nephew. Than I went outside to bury the gold finch. Her mate is still crying. I don't have much hope for a resurrection. Who knows?

Sheri - Table said...

Interesting info! I enjoy reading these types of posts.