Imaginif…Child Protection Became Serious Business
I'll do one today, another tomorrow...
Can't help wondering...
what you're wondering about? Naturally after getting tagged by Megan, I'm wondering about Meme's...sounds like Me- me, doesn't it? Only starts that way...its really more about us...
I still don't know a lot about what Meme means exactly...
but I'm learning fast... and it's fascinating! I think it's Vygotsky-like in basic premise?... something Vachss might go for? Well, here goes....
First I'm supposed to provide the following rules for this one, called
"Seven Random Things About Me":
1. Link to the person’s blog who tagged you.
2. Post these rules on your blog.
3. List seven random and/or weird facts about yourself.
4. Tag seven random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.
5. Let each person know that they have been tagged by posting a comment on their blog.
And so now I'm supposed to do what the rules say to do...
but only to share what I'm comfortable with. Are they kidding me? I'm not comfortable with much of anything in this world... so here are seven random things about me that make sense to share here. I admit some might say in the end they all add up to only one…do you agree?
"Seven Random Things About Me."
1. I survived severe physical, sexual, emotional and psychological child abuse and neglect from my birth parents. The damage that resulted was extensive. At 65, after over 40 years of treatment from many great psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists, and counselors with ever changing therapeutic techniques and medications as they came on the market, I continue to deal with several mental illnesses that will never be cured. I still feel less than and no good for anything.
2. I achieved much in my lifetime academically. Although a high school dropout almost 40 years ago, after I reached a level of what is labeled "high functioning" I returned to school, picked up the pieces and earned a BFA, 2 MA's and almost a PhD during the past fifteen years. I still feel as stupid as I ever did...and believe me, that's stupid big time!
3. I failed much in my lifetime, most painfully in almost all my relationships. Two rocky marriages ended in divorce. One lasted 7 years, and the second 22 years. There will not be a third. I have a STD and will not ever take a chance of sharing that with someone I claim to love as was done to me. I avoid social and personal connections. I still fear people, even those closest to me.
4. I abused and neglected my three children. Continuing the cycle of abuse and neglect against my own children is the failure that hurts the most. I swore I'd never do what was done to me. Although I actively sought help many times I wasn't able to stop for many years. Doctors dismissed my concerns with garbage about child resilience and how, when I was better, I'd be a better parent. Child abuse and neglect were not even considered a problem until the 1970's so that was the prevailing attitude. I still feel somehow I should have been better, stronger, more able to protect my children from my harm to them.
5. I weakened some links in my personal cycle of child abuse and neglect. On the positive side, when I understood that my parenting, although ever improving as I healed, and healthier than that of my parents who had no help, was dangerous and had hurt my children terribly, I fought for help for them while they were still children. I still feel it wasn't enough. Some of my grandchildren paid the price and may still be doing so. They are adopted. I still hurt every day when I pray for and think of them.
6. I accept my responsibility for abusing my children, and I accept the rewards from fighting to end it. Nothing I do will ever make up for the harm I did to my own children, but today I find peace in seeing the wonderful mother my youngest daughter is for her children. I find joy in the relationship she and I have developed over time. I find pride in knowing my efforts and honesty with her made my healthy grandchildren possible. I still feel too ashamed of my past to fight my son-in-law for the right to be more involved with them.
7. I am addicted to learning, educating and raising awareness of others about the cost to children and society from child abuse and neglect. This is an addiction I feel no need to overcome. The prevention, treatment, and amelioration of effects resulting from child abuse are possible. Child maltreatment can be stopped. A lot of determined voices are needed to make that happen. I am every moment grateful for God's grace and wisdom, for the gift of the strength to continue the work I do on behalf of abused and neglected children. I still believe…
Here are the Seven Random Blogs I'm Tagging for "Seven Random Things About Me":
A Child is Waiting,
Take care...be aware,