The children whose pictures are on this Blog are not abused or neglected...at least not to my knowledge! Or should I say no more than what falls within a "normal" range... for in my opinion all children experience some degree of abuse and neglect...if only from their own perspectives.
These children may look "neglected" in some cases but it is a momentary thing, as happens in the lives of all healthy children. Any child who is never rumpled or dirty is more likely to be at risk from some compulsive caregiver than from some occassional bad-hair days!
The children may look so very sad, confused, or whatever that "symptoms of abuse," come quickly to mind. But, children's routine lives are complex, often involving challenges that few of us would want to experience. We carelessly use words such as "resilient" to describe their extraordinary ability to deal with tragedies...great and small...as though it is somehow easier for them to bounce back quickly and easily from whatever comes along to stretch, bend or compress them out of shape.
Their ordinary emotional lives seem subject to higher peaks and lower valleys than some want to believe should or could be part of children's experiences. But whether we choose to believe or not, children- all children- inhabit a world filled with lonliness, pain and terror as well as beauty, joy and exhileration.
I salute and honor them, warriors and heroes all!
Sometimes I just wander...
ChildPerson From The South- The Story Behind the Name
Because you asked...
The name ChildPerson From the South was given to me by two very dear and special friends while I was living on Okinawa. Sensei, my teacher of Japanese, and our friend, Mr. Iso, followed my Chinese Brush Painting lesson progess with animated enthusiasm, always looking at each of my practice papers with delight and encouragement.
However, they also pressured me- sometimes gently- to change directions and study Sumi'e, the Japanes form of ink painting instead. I liked both styles of mediation in ink, but my heart was into the Chinese-Southern Style painting.
I studied and practiced with great love and uncharacteristic discipline, which impressed my CB teacher, a young woman from Mainland China who spoke little English, and had begun the class by showing us the proper way to hold the brush, and had the translator then say to our class, "but you are Americans so she knows you will not have the patience or discipline to learn to do this."
It is not exaggeration to say that I lived with the brush in my hand every waking hour. I practiced the brush strokes every possible moment, then copied, as is the Oriental way of learning, the Teacher's samples until sometimes she said she could not tell which was hers.
One evening during Japanese language class Sensei asked me to stay after class. What a surprise! ...with much ceremony he and Mr. Iso presented me with my own "name" and stone stamp for use on my Chinese Brusth paintings.
They had spent great time in deciding what the name should be, based on the the phonetic of Nancy, and their feelings about me. Meanwhile they ordered a bloodstone, from China, not knowing that is considered an alternative birthstone for me. They decided on Child Person From the South, because they explained I was so like a child in spirit, from the South from whence comes all good things- a great compliment to me from them to say the leasts. They selected an ancient Chinese script; then Mr. Iso carved the characters into the stone. His wife made a beautiful leather case, embossed with butterflies, for it.
We spend the evening drinking tea, lauging and "chopping" all the practice pieces I'd brought to share with them. And after giving me that priceless gift, they never again suggested-gently or otherwise : )- that I study the Japanese Sumi'e instead of the Chines Brush Painting.
And so...I remain in honor of them and myself and all Child Persons from the South and other wise...ChildPerson.
Thanks for asking....
Because You Asked...
Child Person From the South Chop
A Few Books of Interest
Please Stop Lauging at Me...One Womans' Inspirational Story by Jodee Blanco
Please Stop Laughing at Us...One Survivor's Extraordinary Quest to Prevent School Bullying by Jodee Blanco
Reversing the Odds: Improving Outcomes for Babies in the Child Welfare System by Sheryl Dicker, J.D.
Assessment of Parenting Competency in Mothers with Mental Illness by Teresa Ostler, Ph.D.
Building a Home Within: Meeting the Emotional Needs of Children and Youth in Foster Care by Toni Heineman, D.M.H. & Diane Ehrensaft, Ph.D.
Early Intervention with Multi-Risk Families: An Integrative Approach by Sarah Landy, Ph.D. & Rosanne Menna, Ph.D.
Combating Violence and Abuse of People with Disabilities by Nancy Fitzsimons, M.S.W., Ph.D.
Prevention: The Science and Art of Promoting Healthy Child and Adolescent Development by John G. Borkowski, Ph.D., & Chelsea M. Weaver, M.A., M.Ed.
Children Exposed to Violence by Margaret M. Feerick, Ph.D., & Gerald B. Silverman, M.Ed., M.S.W.
Child Abuse and Neglect: Definitions, Classifications, and a Framework for Research by Margaret M. Feerick, Ph.D., John F. Knutson, Ph.D., Penelope K. Trickett, Ph.D., & Sally Flanzer, Ph.D.
Association, N. a. C. A. S. A. (2004). Someone There for Me: Everyday Heroes Through the Eyes of Teens in Foster Care (First ed.). Washington, DC: CWLA Press.
Barbell, K., & Freundlich, M. (2001). Foster Care Today. Washington: Casey Family Programs.
Brooks, R., & Goldstein, S. (2001). Raising Resilient Children: Fostering Strength, Hope, and Optimism in Your Child. Chicago: Contemporary Books.
Capitol Choice
Captitol Choices: Noteworthy Books for Children http://capitolchoices.communitypoint.org/displaykey.asp?sort=102&key=515
Developmental Traumatology, Part 2: Brain Development. M.D. De Bellis,M.S. Keshavan, D.B. Clark, B.J. Casey, J.N. Giedd, A.M. Boring,K. Frustaci and N.D. Ryan in Biological Psychiatry, Vol. 45, No. 10,pages 1271-1284; May 15,1999.
Garbarino, J., Stott, F. M., & Institute, F. o. t. E. (1998). What Children Can Tell Us: Eliciting, Interpreting, and Evaluating Critical Information from Children (First
Goldstein, J., Solnit, A. J., Goldstein, S., & Freud, A. (1996). The Best Interests of the Child: The Least Detrimental Alternative (First Free Press Paperback Edition 1998 ed.). New York: The Free Press.
Gurian, M. (1999). A Fine Young Man: What Parents, Mentors, and Educators Can Do to Shape Adolescent Boys into Exceptional Men (First trade paper back ed.). New York: Jeremy P. Tarcher/Putnam.
Hughes, D. A. (2006). Building the Bonds of Attachment: Awakening Love in Deeply Troubled Children (2nd ed.). Lanham, Maryland: Jason Aronson.
James, J. W., Friedman, R., & Matthews, L. L. (2001). When Children Grieve: For Adults to Help Children Deal with Death, Divorce, Pet Loss, Moving, and Other Losses. (1st. ed.). New York: HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.
Kennedy, J., & McCarthy, C. J. (1998). Bridging Worlds: Understanding and Facilitating Adolescent Recovery from the Trauma of Abuse. New York: The Haworth Maltreatment & Trauma Press.
Reversing the Odds: Improving Outcomes for Babies in the Child Welfare System by Sheryl Dicker, J.D.
Rigby, Ken. New Perspectives on Bullying
Russell, M. (1996). Adoption Wisdom: A Guide to the Issues and Feelings of Adoption. Santa Monica: Broken Branch Productions.
Salter, Anna Dr. (2003) Predators: Pedophiles, Rapists and Other Sex Offenders. Who They Are, How They Operate and How We Can Protect Ourselves and Our Children. NY: Basic Books.
Shirilla, J. J., & Weatherston, D. J. (2002). Case Studies in Infant Mental Health: Risk, Resiliency, and Relationships (first ed.). Washington, DC: Zero to Three.
Silver, J. A., Amster, B. J., & Haecker, T. (Eds.). (1999). Young Children and Foster Care: A Guide for Professionals. Baltimore: Paul H. Brookes Publishing Co.
Wounds That Time Won't Heal: The Neurobiology of Child Abuse. MartinH. Teicher in Cerebrum [Dana Press], Vol. 2, No. 4, pages 50-67;Fall 2000.
All information provided here is for your convenience in quick access to materials about Child Abuse and Neglect. We believe we learn best when our thinking is challenged by alternate views. Therefore, in order to facilitate greater learning and dialogue the sites are varied and diverse. They include professional, academic, and annectdotal research, writing, and opinion. Although I visit all sites before posting them here, inclusion does not indicate agreement with content or any other recommendations inplied or specified on the other sites. We welcome suggestions for other materials. Feel free to share your favorites.